Dok Holocaust Reviews: Grace

The basics: vegan Women’s Studies expert has stillborn baby that springs back to life in her arms.  Rather than being a sickly high-risk-baby drama, it turns out this is a flesh-eating zombie baby drama.

T Mobile makes me think of Harold and Maude now

thanks to their new commercial for the MyTouch featuring Cat Stevens’ “If you want to sing out, sing out”

[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPo-jLHMb2Q]

here’s where I first heard it…

so… are they trying to sell this phone to old people, to young people who want to have sex with old people, or to old people who used to want to have sex with ol dpeople when they were younger but have since become necrophiles since most people older than them are dead?

what always got me about the movie was that Maude never really cures Harold of his morbidness – she’s a hedonistic concentration-camp survivor who encourages him to do drugs and commit crimes, so she’s really just allowing him to have more fun with it without really changing.   ahy well.  that’s my rant for now.

Dok Holocaust reviews: The Haunting in Connecticut

It’s okay.  mediocre ghost movie.  Elias Koteas as the cancer-addled reverend who can see ghosts is kinda neat.

warning label

My cloacal syringe runs on a magnetic impeller so you never hear me coming until I’ve already started laying eggs in your bone marrow.

more proof that the Japanese are insane.

sperm shaped theremin.  I’ll let the inventor explain.

I don’t understand a word he said, but I get the gist of it.  “I have made a delightful noisy sperm toy that children can use to drive their parents to suicide and child-like adults will use to attract beatings from their peers.”

the one thing he doesn’t tell me, that I really want to know, is where i can buyt hese in bulk to distribute to trick-or-treaters.

Dok Holocaust: is going to disney world (in his mind)

Had the weirdest dream last night.  Sookie Stackhouse was my sister.  Not in the sense that I was Jason Stackhouse, but that I was me and my actual sister had somehow been replaced with Anna Paquin, who was dating a vampire.

I was in florida, stopping off at myh parents’ house int he Panhandle region en route to Orlando, because sister Sookie was finally gettming married to vampire Bill and the wedding had been arranged to happen in Disney World!

Except Bill can’t go.  There’s some stupid vampire law prohibiting them from entering Disney facilities.  he dumps my sister, the asshole.  So we decide to turn it into a family trip to Disney World anyway because we already paid for it, and we’re gonna have funa nd buy wooden things to shove in Bill’s torso when we get back.

oddy enough, some of my co-workers are coming. People from the Deveopment Team who train the new hires (and complimented me recnetly on my longer hairstyle) and some of their friends from the office.  dressed up in that outfit Mary Poppins wore during the “It’s a jolly holiday with Mary” sequence of Mary Poppins.

what the fuck?

Cooking with the Dok: Geburt einer SPOOP!

Spoop is my own recipe for a soup that uses SPAM as the main meat and flavoring.  I came up with it when I was short on money at the beginning of this past week and realized i’d be on ramen and spam for a while. There are many images after the break.

dok holocaust reviews: another true blood episode

I’m gonna keep this brief, because so little actually happened.  most of this episode was just pre-season-finale filler, just killing time and putting guns in people’s hands in preparation for, one would think, a shootout next episode.

Good things:  Eric talking with Pam’s kids.  “goodnight tiny humans!”  Why is it that Eric Northman is the only vampire with a sense of humor?  I like him.  he needs to be in more episodes, and Bill needs to be in none of them.

Bad things;  The egg at the end.  Seriously.  it is the next-to-the-last episode of the season.  now is not the time for unexplained weirdness.  It took long the fuck enough to explain the goddamn pig from last season.  That egg better wind up scrambled by the season finale or I am going to be royally pissed off.  Tara’s mom being stupid.  Lafayette getting brainwashed.  except for the bits with Eric in it, the whole thing was a heap of suck.

Dok Holocaust reviews: Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2

Short version:  not bad.  there were things I could’ve done with less of, things I wanted more of, things that were awesome, and things that struck me as outright missing, but overall a decent enough movie.

why I don’t wanna move farther north than I already am

moar funny pictures

things are just funnier down South.