Pa: P. B. Massacre. Sidhe Grump. house somethingfromtheshadowcourtbook
backstory: spent his childhood growing up at family estate raised by emotionally distant parents who were mainly there to teach him to be ruthless and use their vasty wealth to keep any of his… er… incidents with the maids/cooks/neighbors from reaching litigation. harvard business school, then wall street, retired at 35 with enough money to hold for a lifetime or two. always had a habit of killing prostitutes, vagrants, small dogs, and the occasional business rival, eventually met a woman with similar inclinations who really
brought out the best in him, as he likes to put it, and this was his Chrysalis. she has since moved on to prey upon an absentee husband who owns a few small islands, but their separation is kept amicable by the fact that they both know what figurative and literal skeletons are in each others’ closets and have some DNA from their ex on ice in case the cops need something to compare the evidence with.
likes: chainsaws, roto-zips, and the taste of human heart blended with ice and vodka.
dislikes: anything less than the most expensive of everything.
assets: mostly real estate. the old family manse is his favorite quiet place to think, and he has various apartments under assumed names for pursuing his hobbies. stock, too, mainly a big chunk of GE because GE owns big chunks of everything else. financed a horror movie based on his favorite novel.
parenting strategy: PB believes he is better than everyone else in a natural-selection sense of the word, as is his ex-wife. It stands to reason that his children may also be superior, so he gives them a lto of leeway. they can do whatever they can figure out how to get away with on their own, and he is happy to finance their schemes within the limits of their allowances. like anything that is the best, though, they must be subjected to rigorous stress-tests to PROVE their superiority, and if they break… well… they’ll either learn to be more durable or he can make another one.
Eldest Son: Kenneth Bell “Cannibal” Massacre, sluagh wilder
backstory: always kept at arms length or farther by his parents, but quickly learned that the best way to thrive in the Massacre household is shut up, watch, learn, don’t ask questions, and never talk about anything. childhood was comfortable, but still slightly creepy, especially when his high school graduation present was his own apartment with a surprise inside:the foulest school bully, who’d dropped out a couple years ago, bound in duct tape. and also a chainsaw. Ken had watched horror movies on his father’s knee as a boy and knew what was expected, and also had scars to remind him of what happens when you don’t live up to your parents’ expectations. Suprisingly, he didn’t turn out a redcap, but his parents love him anyway. He’s going to college off and on, studying literature and criminology intermittently and taking semesters off to get “field experience,” dreams of writing a book that will make other people more like his family. oddly enough, he’s not as outright murderous as his father, preferring instead to mess with people’s heads.
assets: the stuff in his apartment. horror dvds, some serial killer murderobilia, sensible car. most of what he has access to is in his father’s name, so he is very keen on staying on dad’s good side.
likes: encouraging suicidal people to finish themselves off, horror movies, hanging out with his dad. black metal (his one rebellion against PB, who prefers 80s pop)
dislikes: emo kids, any loud abrasive noises other than black metal (which he can turn on and off as desired), Ma Massacre (for leaving)
the wee one: Texisse Cheyenne “Chainsaw” Massacre, nocker childling
backstory: the cute adopted one, like on a sitcom. Ken and PB found her squatting in their summer place in the hamptons. PB was not happy about this. some brat had bypassed his security system, picked interior locks in the house, helped herself to the food, and made some crude explosive boobytraps to deter anyone trying to join her in the house. Anyone else would have been killed and eaten, but someone who can make a bomb and bypass an electronic security system is more valuable alive, even if she was a smelly half-feral runaway with no recollection of where she’d come from. oddly enough, she’s adapted well to her adopted family. she’s the least homicidal of the lot, having never intentionally killed anyone, but is by far the most destructive given her predilictions.
dislikes: the :”NOT IN THE HOUSE” rule, what happens if she tries to break it (casts are no fun even when daddy draws all over them after and teaches you how to hide a knife inside it), not getting what she wants.
likes: access to Daddy’s toolshed, all the fun science projects he comes up with for her (“let’s see what chemicals dissolve a dead body the fastest!), explosions, fire, the SAW franchise, what daddy lets her do to people who don’t let her get what she wants (other than Daddy, because that breaks the NOT IN THE HOUSE rule)
