The following rant is basically taken from a conversation i had with my best friend. it was one of those moments where they remind me they don’t like my favorite band and I remind them I think their favorite TV show is stupid and then we change the subject quickly. I will try to just recapture the sermon against hippies word-for-word from the Instant Message
rant follows:
i have always hated The Hippie, you know. When i was nine, in elementary school, someone stuck two fingers up at me and said “peace” as a greeting or somesuch, and my response was “….No.”
Dammit, my parents are FROM the 60s! mom turned 50 this week. I’ve SEEN what those hippie ways do to people and I cannot condone it. Humans were not meant to live in yurts and subsistence-farm and wifeswap. it does damage to vital thinking-organs and spreads disease
What about the drugs, you ask? Drugs are entertaining, yes, but excessive consumption of some cherished form of entertainment is not sufficient to constitute a whole lifesty… er… yeah….
Yes it’s true that I do the same things by lounging around reading comic books and watching horror movies, but I am not lounging around taking sex and having drugs! Lounging around taking sex and having drugs all day is unhealthy in the long term, while my choice of comic books and horror movies is not. You can’t get the Crotch-Crickets from a goerge romero movie marathon. The Cock-Rot does not come in an acid-free polybag to protect it’s foil-stamped hologram cover! Teh AIDS does not have downloadable bonus content!
Yes, that’s right, I’m the SubGenius Anti-Sex League! CELIBATE FOR SLACK!
Tags: big brother, brave new world, celibacy, hippies, rant, sex, slack, subgenius, subgenius anti-sex league
June 22, 2008 at 8:37 am |
Damn Hippies are the foundation for a crumbling society falling into the ocean, and a deep part of the ocean too. Sure, I can’t hold it against them that they were living their dream, but I can hold a knife against their throat if they call me ‘maaaannnnn’ or whatever it is Hippies call people these days. Now I don’t want to give everyone the impression that I just hate the crap out of Hippies, but I do hate zombies with a passion, and it’s just that kind of pacifist Hippie bastard that would let a zombie invasion get out of hand and ruin the world. Dammit! Gets me all fired up. I gotta cool off with some ice cream cake and tequila.
Before I go, comic books have good stories; graphic novels, they are. Horror movies? What’s wrong with horror movies? It’s like study material, only better.
June 22, 2008 at 10:21 am |
on the latter point, I agree wholeheartedly. I was addressing them because some people might see my lifestyle that largely revolves around enjoying comic books, watching horror movies, and preparing for the coming zombie apocalypse as similar to the hippie’s hedonistic sex-and-drugs lifestyle.
and i do just hate the crap out of hippies. It is my belief that Hippies are in fact larval Zombies, but I have am having a hard time securing the permits I need to test this theory.